When it is Love


There have been many times over the course of my life where I thought to myself, “Why can’t this person treat me better.” I believe at some point in our lives we have all felt like we have given more to people we care about than those people care to return our way. I am not taking about money, or time here, I am talking about the love.

The reason we all want people in our lives is so we can give and feel love. My once upon a time mentor and now friend would say. “Love is something that you do, not something that you get.” Isn’t that the truth. It is really hard to look at love as something that you do though. It seems impossible to be a person who is content with just giving love, and never gets love back. The cold fact about life is we have two choices on how we can live: The first choice is a person who does not give love, and the other is a person who does give love.

By nature and design we are all inherently good “loving” creatures. I believe that over the course of ones life people forget about the love. The love does not matter as much due to the scars and pain one carries. It is quite easy to be consumed by all the events, circumstances, and people that have hurt us over the years, but what it is point of that? I believe the reason people are consumed by hurt or anger (rather than love) is because they are afraid of love.

That is right, I just said people are afraid of love. You might be asking, “Why would people be afraid of love? I can understand heights or guns but love, that makes no sense?” The truth is love hurts more than anything in the world. Love has the ability to paralyze the soul just as well as any other things can paralyze the human body. Love can break ones heart just like falling off a building can brake ones bones. The worst part of all is that we all NEED love. This is why many, including myself for years, were afraid of love.

Love does not only exist between a mother and a son, or a boyfriend and a girl friend, love exists in many forms which all should be a huge part of everyone’s life. We all must love aspects of our lives, like what we do for a living in order to feel we have a purpose. We all must love the way we live, meaning character, ethics, and morals. We all must love ourselves, down to the core which includes every imperfection and mark of uniqueness that we have. We all must love life, and feel blessed to be alive breathing the air and living our lives the way we choose to live our lives.

The hardest part about love is that it is hard. It is not easy to love our lives at times. Times when we hate our jobs, are struggling with family, or are burdened with debt can be very emotionally draining. We all have a hard time loving ourselves because we are so focused on what we are not, rather than being happy for what we are. We have a hard time loving others because others do not often treat us as we would want to be treated. There is a light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to love though…

Self love is a skill we all must learn in order to increase the quality of our lives. When we love ourselves, and really love ourselves, we start to love all the aspects of our lives. In order to enhance the quality of our lives, we must start to weed out the aspects that do not make us happy and seek out other aspects which do. We are able to compare and contrast how we want to spend our time when we can break down what we love about our life and what we need to change.

The kicker about love, is when we speak about others. Unlike a job, we can not interchange people in our lives. If we are not happy selling cars we can start a business and make our own money. But when we love someone we can not trade them for another, or change their personality when things are not working out. This is where self love is most vital. If we are happy within ourselves we can put that energy into the universe and hope those around us feed off that energy.

If others do not feed off our loving energy there is very little we can do. There are only so many times we can have the same talks, or pray that the other person starts to treat us with love. There comes a time in every relationship where we all must consider. “Is the love being forced?”

Relationships which make me feel good about me and are centered around the love, and relationships which are essentially dead ends (no love exists only “forced love”). In these dead end relationships the illusion of love is often present. You can tell the people care, but they are too afraid of love to love themselves or you.

I am finding that though it would be amazing to force the love when we care about people, but we can not.

There is no helping those who chose to run from love. There is no way to reach someone with your love if they reject it and do not reciprocate the “love energy” onto themselves or you. I am sad to say, that the people who do not see love as “something you do” are probably going to always hurt and let you down. Life is too short to try to force the love.

I want to leave you all tonight with this…

There are people out there like you who want to give and receive love as badly as you do. Find those people. While you are always keeping your eyes open for the “love energy” do your best to make peace with those who may not be in your life much longer. It is always better to tell those you care about the truth rather than live a lie. If those around you are not about the love, you should tell them (in whatever method of communication you are comfortable with) that you are about the love. If they are not about the love and are ready to give, express, and show the love you are going to have to spend less time with them. Stress the fact that you are one of love and are not able to be one of love if others around you are also not one of love too.

There comes a time where we all have to dig deep in ourselves to find what we really want out of life. As of late I have decided that I only want positivity, passion, and what I call, “the love energy.” Everything else will not be a part of my life. If that is people, then so be it. From here on out I am dedicated to living a love filled life. If those around me choose not to do the same, I will not be one for interaction, as I will not choose to allow negative, non love energy into my buddle any longer. I am no longer going to force the love with anyone or anything in my life. I will always give people a chance, I will always speak my mind, and I will always try to help people not be afraid of love. But there is only so much I, and we all, can do if people do not want to be people of love for themselves.

Embrace the “love energy.” Revel in it. Block out those who try to soil your soul with fear, anger, hurt, or negativity. You hold the clock of your own life in your hand, make it one of love!

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