We All Crave Relationships —
Some would say that life is an uphill battle. I guess that all depends really on where you are standing. The older I get the more I realize that people are what makes life worth living. People though, are very complicated. There is no “Occam’s Razor” when it comes to understanding people, or understanding ourselves for that matter. The only simple fact about humanity is that we thrive on interaction. We seek connection. We are creatures who need to interact in a social and personal nature with other humans.
Many of us strive to build relationships in our lives. Many of these relationships are platonic. but a handful are dedicated to intimacy. We all need intimacy in our lives. We all need to touch, and to feel touch. We all need to express ourselves in a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual manner. We all need love. Through life we learn more about ourselves, and about others. We are able to then love ourselves and others. Though there is one “drawback” to love, and that drawback is it can be, and most often is very painful.
We all have to learn to take the good with the bad in life. In fact, we all should embrace taking the good with the bad. If we did not, how would be able to decipher true joy from utter pain? How would we be able to feel the rush and adrenalin kick in, if we did not know what it feels like to fight to stay alive?
Pain and pleasure are all we know as humans. We strive to seek pleasure and to avoid pain. We all have immense feelings of joy and pain with us at all times. We all can let the pain/pleasure into our minds at any time, after all, the pain/pleasure is always in our hearts. We carry with us memories, experiences, feelings, and thoughts about everything. It is easy to allow those memories, feelings, thoughts, and experiences dictate how we feel and act. This is never going to be avoidable, but it can be controlled.
When we are seeking to engage people in a “loving state” we have to accept the fact that we may get hurt. We have to accept the fact that we may hurt other people. We have to accept the fact that no one is perfect (not even ourselves) and we are going to slip in and out of connection with others based on our moods. This is normal, but we need to understand that it is entirely within our control how much we let the pain affect us.
Relationships are not easy, but we all crave relationships. We all need relationships. If you are in a relationship which is not bringing you happiness you must ask yourself, ” What can I do to change the way I feel.” You need to get real with who you are, and with your role in the relationship. Yes, relationships are two-way streets, but one person has to set the tone and be the “alpha” so to speak. Eventually both will be “alphas” in their own regard. But, in order to be happy, in order to keep someone else in a state of pleasure, one must look within. One must examine what he/she can do to increase the quality of pleasure in the relationship.
Life is too short to be unhappy. Life is too short to not say what is on your mind. Life is too short to live day-in and day out “fighting your way through life.” We all need people around us, we all need connection, and we all need intimacy. Just like anything in life that is worthwhile, we have to work for those things. We have to constantly change, grow, and adapt. We have to give all that we are, and know that we are sometimes going to get hurt. In order to feel intense pleasure from another, we have to provide them with the feelings of intense pleasure.
Relationships and Love are the reason for our existence. We all crave them, we all need them, we all want them. Be responsible, be introspective, be loving, and be who you are at your core always. If you do, then you will not only attract amazing relationships to you, but you will sustain them for extended periods of time.
“Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you’re living?” – Bob Marley