Archive for March, 2019

Falling in love is easy. It’s staying in love that takes a little work.

True, it’s important not to force love or push a connection. But if you’ve been together long enough, you know that it’s essential to keep that spark alive from time to time.

There’s a stage in every relationship where couples get too comfortable with each other, that they start taking each other for granted.

You start forgetting to do the little things that make each other smile. Or you fail to show how you appreciate one another.

According to Judy Ford, psychotherapist, counselor, and author of ‘Every Day Love: The Delicate Art of Caring for Each Other.,

“Realise that it is in moments of restlessness and upheaval that you find out who you are and what it truly means to love.

“It’s easy to be considerate and loving to your partner when the setting is romantic, when you’ve got jingle in your pocket, when you’re looking good and feeling fine.

“But when one of you is out of sorts, exhausted, overwhelmed and distracted, behaving lovingly requires conscious effort.

At the end of the day, relationships take work, and you need to put on the conscious effort of choosing to stay in love with each other.

The good news is, you don’t need to do grand things to make your partner fall more deeply in love with you. Read ahead to learn 11 simple things that can ensure your love lasts a lifetime.

1. Appreciate them every day.

You’ve gotten used to each other. That means that you don’t think twice about the things they consciously do to make sure you’re happy and comfortable. But try to remain appreciative of these small things. Always say thank you and show appreciation when they go out of their way to make you dinner or when they buy you your favorite pastry. It might be inconsequential to you, but showing them you’re grateful for all the things they do, no matter how small, goes a long way to making them feel loved.

2. Let them have a life.

Just because you are a couple doesn’t mean you need to be joined at the hip every second. You need to remember that you both have your own lives. You have your own careers, goals, social life, and interests. And it’s absolutely healthy to give each other space. Giving your partner time alone to relax, do what they love, or spend time with their friends and family, can be a nice gift to give them from time to time

3. Offer to do things they don’t like to do themselves.

This is a small gesture, but you have no idea how much they’ll appreciate it. You probably already know the chores or errands that your partner hates doing, offer to do it for them. If they don’t like doing the groceries, take the initiative to do it yourself.

If your partner’s language of love is “acts of service,” they’ll literally give you the heart eyes.

4. Stay away from your phone when you’re together.

Nothing is more annoying than trying to talk to someone who is so busy with their phone. Not only is it irritating, but it’s extremely disrespectful to your partner. It might be good to establish a “no phone” rule when you’re out on date night or when you’re chilling with Netflix at home. Stay connected with your partner, not your smartphone.

5. Don’t ask them to give up anything important to them.

If you really love someone, you don’t ask them to give up anything they love for you. Never ask your partner to choose you over their passion. They will resent you for it. Ultimatums like this can even damage your relationship beyond repair. Instead, support them. Don’t make them feel guilty for spending less time with you. Tell them that it’s okay to do what they love. They will appreciate you for it.

6. Learn to handle arguments in a healthy and mature way.

No one wants to be with someone who loves drama and acts immaturely during fights. If you want your partner to listen to you and respect you, you need to handle your fights and disagreements like an adult. They will appreciate you more as a partner. And it’s good for your relationship, too,

7. Be their soundboard.

Sometimes your partner just wants to vent out. Maybe they’ve had a horrible day at work, or are frustrated about something. Or perhaps they’ve discovered a new idea they are passionate about. Take the time to listen to them. Be a place of comfort for them. They probably do the same thing for you. So don’t forget to return the favor.

8. It’s all in the small details.

You don’t have to buy the biggest and most expensive gifts for your partner. In truth, they’ll appreciate it more if you give them something intimate and personal. Sometimes, even showing up at their workplace with their favorite coffee in hand can make them smile for weeks. Truthfully, it’s all in the small details. Remember the little things they love and incorporate it to everything you give them. This makes all your gifts more memorable and meaningful.

9. Make time for them in your busy schedule.

Sometimes life just gets too hectic that it’s easy to be out-of-sync with your partner. But it’s important to make sure you both have time for each other. Even if it’s as simple as making sure you go to bed at the same time, or having lunch once a week. Doing this makes your partner know that you prioritize your relationship, too.

10. Surprise them with nice gestures.

Everyone loves to be surprised with a nice gesture. Even if it’s just randomly calling your partner to check up on them. It doesn’t have to be big or grand. Take them out on a surprise picnic at the park, or throw them an intimate surprise birthday party. Not only is it fun to plan for you, but it also gives them a feeling of being well-loved.

11. Be their cheerleader.

The best thing about being in love, is having a best friend – and everything that comes with it. Don’t forget to be there for your partner through the good times and bad. Grieve with them when they fail. And celebrate their successes when they come. Be their life’s cheerleader and never fail to make them feel like you have their back. There’s nothing more that speaks of real, deep love, than having a true life partner holding your hand.

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Hard Truths About Love

Posted March 15, 2019 By Mark

People go around throwing I love you’s as if these words are nothing. And when it comes to honoring their words with actions, a lot of them have absolutely nothing to show for… And 

Today I will share with you 10 hard truths about love that can improve not just our relationships, but also our lives, and the whole world.

1. There is no love without self-love

Pay close attention to those people who tell you how much they love you, but who treat themselves as if there is nothing worthy about them. If a person has no love for themselves, they will have no love to offer to those around. How can anyone offer you something they themselves don’t have? It’s just not possible.

“I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves and tell me, ‘I love you.’ … There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.” ~Maya Angelou

2. Love is not selective

I used to be so proud of the fact that I had love only for a selective few. And in my ignorance, I failed to realize that my love was flawed and imperfect. Because just as the Eckhart Tolle so beautifully said it,

“Love is not selective, just as the light of the sun is not selective. It does not make one person special. It is not exclusive. Exclusivity is not the love of God but the “love” of ego. However, the intensity with which true love is felt can vary.”

3. Codependency is not love

So many people confuse co-dependency with love when in fact these two have nothing to do with one another. Love is pure, perfect, and honest. While co-dependency is nothing but fear masked as love trying to cling onto other people by sucking the life out of them and by making them feel responsible for our own happiness, fulfillment, and well-being.

4. Love is not blind infatuation

You often hear people say things like: Oh my God, I fell in love! I’m so happy. And then after a little while, the same people will affirm: Oh, I’m so unhappy. I no longer love them. I fell out of love… But the truth of the matter is that what these people felt wasn’t love, but rather a blind infatuation that lasted for a little while and then it disappeared. Because that’s what infatuation does – it comes and goes.

5. Love is eternal

Love isn’t something you fall in, and out of. Love just is. Love is eternal and always present. And iIf there’s true and honest love in your heart for someone, this love will remain with you for as long as you live. And whether you allow this love to be felt or not, that is your choice.

6. Love is not blind, or foolish

Love is not foolish, and love is not blind. Love will not permit us to be walked all over by those we love.

If somebody you love treats you in toxic and unkind ways, out of love for them and yourself, you will be guided intuitively to do what’s right – by either removing yourself from the toxic relationship or by asking them to change and correct their ways – but under no circumstances will love ask you to stay in a relationship where you will be abused, manipulated, and mistreated. So keep that in mind.

7. Love is to be offered to all

You might think that the only people worthy of your love are your family, your partner, your friends and a selective few. But the truth of the matter is that the whole world is worthy and deserving of your love and affection. And since we are all ONE – connected with each other in a profound and meaningful way – it is your responsibility to expand your circle of compassion and offer your love and support, not just to those close to you, but to the whole world.

8. Love needs nothing in return

If you think you have a right to receive just because you have given your love to others, that is a clear sign your love is flawed and imperfect. Because love is pure and unconditional. It offers itself to the whole world without wanting anything in return. And even though we were taught to believe that we should only offer our love only to those who offer their love to us, we should never forget that true love comes with no conditions.

9. The word Love has become empty of meaning, but love itself has never lost its power

We go around throwing “I love you’s” as if love was nothing. But love is not, nothing. Love is everything. Love is the Source of all things. Love is what we all need, what we all seek, and what we all need. And even though the word love has become empty of meaning through years and years of misuse, love itself has never lost its value and its power.

10. Love isn’t what we think it is

Love isn’t what we think it is. Love is what we feel. And since the majority of people have become disconnected from their own hearts and feelings, what we are getting is not love, but an idea of what love is supposed to be.

And these are 10 hard truths about love we should all know. What about you? What is one hard truth about love that you’ve learned and made your life better? You can share your comment in the comment section below.

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15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

Posted March 8, 2019 By Mark

The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters. – Audrey Hepburn

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right

 There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame

 Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk

 Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs

Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining

 Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change

 Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.

“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels

 Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open.

“The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.

“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

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