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These days there are much more single moms than in the past, and it seems like it is generally believed that a woman is capable of raising a child, particularly a daughter, on her own. But, studies done in the recent years show that this couldn’t be farther from the truth.  Not only do girls benefit a lot from having their father with them, but having a father around is critical for their emotional development.

WHY DADS MATTER EMOTIONALLY

A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology has found that daughters who have great relationships with their fathers are at lower risk of developing depression and anxiety and are better at handing stress.  In addition, they are more comfortable talking about their emotions and this allows them to be prepared for fulfilling relationships later on.

Thinks like relationships, sexuality, values, and self-image are additional things that fathers shape for their daughters. When a dad forms a healthy relationship with his daughter, he basically helps her create a positive self-image and boosts her self-confidence.

WHY DADS MATTER PRACTICALLY

Not only do dads have a tremendous impact emotionally, they also have a huge impact on the financial and physical health of their daughters. A study done by Rutgers has shown that girls that have a father who is involved all the time from the very beginning are more likely to have enough to eat. They are physically healthier compared to those who have absent or uninvolved fathers, too.

Fathers also help provide financial stability, which combined with emotional and physical health allows them to be more successful and more financially stable.

INVOLVED FROM THE BEGINNING

Fathers who are involved from the very beginning and whose bond is stronger are able to reap and provide all the benefits mentioned above. Earlier involvement is relatively new concepts, given that about seven decades ago fathers couldn’t even be present in the room when their daughters were born.

These days, there are more opportunities for men to be involved from the very beginning.  They can feed their girls using formula, rock them to sleep, change their diapers and many more, which allows them to build a special bond from the start.

INFLUENCE OF MEDIA

Despite the greater opportunities for early involvement, there are negative effects from the media that men find hard to overcome. For instance, fathers are portrayed as idiots who are completely unaware of women and their needs.  But, it is important for men to look at these poor portrayals as something insignificant and recognize them as stereotypes which shouldn’t be followed.

ROLE OF MOMS

While having a dad around is of utmost importance, this s not to diminish the role of mothers. Mothers provide valuable advice about what it means to be a successful woman and are the ones that provide their daughters with information on puberty, menstruation, and so on.

Sources:

https://www.peacequarters.com/fathers-have-more-influence-in-a-daughters-lives-than-mothers-studies-show/

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One of the most frequently asked questions that we get from our readers and students is, “What are the deal-breakers in relationships?”

“Deal-breakers” are those behaviors or conditions that one partner is unable or unwilling to tolerate in a relationship. Because “tolerance” is a relative term and subject to everyone’s unique capacity to accept varying degrees of distress or discomfort, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, and no higher authority we can defer to that could legitimatize our right to refuse to tolerate a specific practice or behavior on the part of our partner (or, for that matter, to sanction our right to continue behaviors that are unacceptable to him or her).

While one person may be willing or able to tolerate occasional affairs on the part of a spouse, another may be unwilling to stay together after a single betrayal. The same goes for verbal abuse, or addiction, or chronic dishonesty, or different religious beliefs, or any of a number of other conditions that may be present in a relationship.

This is not to say that either person is right or wrong in either their behavior or their degree of willingness to tolerate that behavior in a partner. It is also not to say that we shouldn’t make an effort to work out the inevitably different values that all couples have in regard to their beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors.

What can and often does push a situation from workable to unworkable is an unwillingness on the part of either partner to openly discuss their thoughts, feelings, concerns, experience, and needs. A willingness on the part of the “offending” partner to consider altering their beliefs or behaviors is required in order to create a deeper level of trust and respect in the relationship. If there is no motivation on the part of an alcoholic to address their drinking, no desire on the part of an abusive partner to get help, no willingness on the part of a parent to discuss child-rearing philosophies openly and respectfully with their spouse, the chances of any of those situations being or becoming a deal-breaker greatly increase.

In most cases, the possibility of resolution has less to do with behavior than the perception on the part of one or both partners that there are legitimate grounds to trust that there is genuine intention to change, or to effectively manage the behavior or attitude that is causing distress in the relationship. It is also important that the other partner is open to reflecting on ways in which they may be unknowingly contributing to the situation or to discovering ways in which they can be more effective in dealing with their concerns. Yet even in cases where there is a willingness on the part of bothpartners to do their own work, that may not be sufficient. It may not be enough to interrupt the pattern enough to bring about an outcome that restores equilibrium and mutual trust in the relationship.

The longer an unacceptable condition is allowed to continue, the more likely it is to become toxic. A toxic relationship is one in which the level of trust, respect, and goodwill has deteriorated to the point where even the desire and motivation to heal has been lost by one or both partners. At this point, the likelihood of restoring this desire is low and the prognosis for the relationship is poor.

There are serious risks that couples take in trying for too long to toleratecircumstances that are causing extreme suffering for one or both partners. Couples take a serious risk in trying for too long to tolerate circumstances that are causing extreme suffering for one or both of them. Living in hope or denial, or distracting ourselves through unhealthy behaviors or relationships, only causes greater suffering in situations that are already intolerable. While facing the truth can be difficult and painful, in the long run, it is the most direct path out of suffering.

With very few exceptions, most situations don’t begin as deal-breakers; they become deal-breakers when they are ignored or inadequately addressed over a long period of time. Not infrequently, misguided efforts that one partner makes to try to tolerate their pain and frustration only add to the entrenched nature of the problem.

While there is no way—nor is it necessary—to assess what percentage of the problem is due to each partner, it is generally the case that both partners have perceptual filters preventing them from seeing the full range of options available to them. This is where help from a trusted friend or professional can illuminate possibilities that may have gone unrecognized.

The earlier we acknowledge and respond to entrenched relationship differences, the more likely it is that they will not become deal-breakers. Still, despite our best efforts, we can sometimes be faced with true deal-breakers. Where it is clear that fundamental differences are too great to bridge the gap between partners, it is wise to acknowledge this reality and to respectfully end the relationship in its present form, moving on separately or in a different form of relationship.

Commitment doesn’t necessarily mean that we stay together forever, no matter what, but that we stay engaged in the process of honoring, respecting, and loving each other as best we can, and in the process becoming a more loving and lovable people ourselves.

Sometimes the best way we can express our love is by refusing to tolerate something in a partner that is causing harm or doing damage to them, to ourselves, or to others. Sometimes the best thing that we can do is to try to become more accepting of them or their behavior. There is no generic answer to the question of which is right for you right now, in this situation, in your relationship. But staying present and deeply connected to ourselves, rather than focusing on our partner, can sometimes can be the best way to find the answer to what may be the most important question of the moment: “What is my next step?”

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Don’t get involved with a Russian woman, if you are not ready for this.


 1- She will treat you like a king.

If a Russian woman truly loves her man, she kind of puts him on a pedestal. This is because Russian women value themselves: if she is the queen, she would only choose the king and treat him like the king – with respect, care, love, and support. So if you end up marrying a Russian woman, she will be telling everyone that you are the best person on the planet, the most talented, the strongest, the smartest – and she will be sincere about that.

2- She will never leave you. 

Millais, John Everett|Millais, William Henry; The Black Brunswicker; Royal Scottish Academy of Art & Architecture; http://www.artuk.org/artworks/the-black-brunswicker-186556

A Russian woman will be your partner, your best friend, your adviser, your doctor if you are sick, and she will always be by your side. For Russian women, loyalty means following their loved ones to the ends of the world and staying together through thick and thin. The best example of loyalty of Russian women is from the 19th century, when there was a riot against the Tsar, and Decembrists – the aristocrats who participated in that riot – were sentenced for a lifelong exile and hard labor in Siberia. Their wives left everything behind, followed them voluntarily to cold deserted lands, and shared the punishment of their husbands, for years living in inexplicable conditions. Surprised? Well, this is just how Russian women love: unconditionally and self-forgetfully. So if you think loyalty is unnecessary and boring, don’t marry a Russian woman.

3- She will feed you. A LOT.

You can be sure that when you come home after a long working day, a tasty dinner is already waiting for you. ALWAYS. This is because for many Russian women, cooking is a way to show their love. Russian girls learn the art of cooking and housekeeping from their mothers and grandmothers, who teach them the age-old family recipes that are passed from generation to generation. By the way, in a Russian home, ‘a meal’ usually means three separate dishes. So if you do marry a Russian woman, make sure you always come home hungry and not late for dinner!

4- She will want babies.

Most Russian women believe that their main purpose in life is to become a wife, give birth to a child, and devote her life to her family. This is genetic: Slavic girls are psychologically ready to become mothers as soon as they get married. Traditional Russian family is incomplete without kids, and Russian women can’t understand why Western women consciously choose not to give birth to a child. Although many Russian females also have careers, when it comes to starting a family, they will sacrifice their jobs, because for them, no professional accomplishment can be more important than the moments spent with the family. So if you marry a Russian woman, there is a high chance that at some point she will tell you she wants a baby from you.

5- She is too beautiful.

For sure you have heard about famous Slavic beauty, which has charmed so many men from different corners of the world. The dedication that Russian women have to look beautiful is just scary. They have to look amazing whether they are in the theater or taking the dog for a walk. So if you can’t stand other men looking admiringly at your wife, don’t marry a Russian woman.

 

 

You have been warned…

 

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10 Hard Truths About Love You Should Know

Posted August 10, 2017 By Mark

Perfect love casts out fear. If fear exists, then there is not perfect love. ~ A Course in Miracles

Hard Truths About Love

People go around throwing I love you’s as if these words are nothing. And when it comes to honoring their words with actions, a lot of them have absolutely nothing to show for… And 

Today I will share with you 10 hard truths about love that can improve not just our relationships, but also our lives, and the whole world.

1. There is no love without self-love

Pay close attention to those people who tell you how much they love you, but who treat themselves as if there is nothing worthy about them. If a person has no love for themselves, they will have no love to offer to those around. How can anyone offer you something they themselves don’t have? It’s just not possible.

“I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves and tell me, ‘I love you.’ … There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.” ~Maya Angelou

2. Love is not selective

I used to be so proud of the fact that I had love only for a selective few. And in my ignorance, I failed to realize that my love was flawed and imperfect. Because just as the Eckhart Tolle so beautifully said it,

“Love is not selective, just as the light of the sun is not selective. It does not make one person special. It is not exclusive. Exclusivity is not the love of God but the “love” of ego. However, the intensity with which true love is felt can vary.”

3. Codependency is not love

So many people confuse co-dependency with love when in fact these two have nothing to do with one another. Love is pure, perfect, and honest. While co-dependency is nothing but fear masked as love trying to cling onto other people by sucking the life out of them and by making them feel responsible for our own happiness, fulfillment, and well-being.

4. Love is not blind infatuation

You often hear people say things like: Oh my God, I fell in love! I’m so happy. And then after a little while, the same people will affirm: Oh, I’m so unhappy. I no longer love them. I fell out of love… But the truth of the matter is that what these people felt wasn’t love, but rather a blind infatuation that lasted for a little while and then it disappeared. Because that’s what infatuation does – it comes and goes.

5. Love is eternal

Love isn’t something you fall in, and out of. Love just is. Love is eternal and always present. And If there’s true and honest love in your heart for someone, this love will remain with you for as long as you live. And whether you allow this love to be felt or not, that is your choice.

6. Love is not blind, or foolish

Love is not foolish, and love is not blind. Love will not permit us to be walked all over by those we love.

If somebody you love treats you in toxic and unkind ways, out of love for them and yourself, you will be guided intuitively to do what’s right – by either removing yourself from the toxic relationship or by asking them to change and correct their ways – but under no circumstances will love ask you to stay in a relationship where you will be abused, manipulated, and mistreated. So keep that in mind.

7. Love is to be offered to all

You might think that the only people worthy of your love are your family, your partner, your friends and a selective few. But the truth of the matter is that the whole world is worthy and deserving of your love and affection. And since we are all ONE – connected with each other in a profound and meaningful way – it is your responsibility to expand your circle of compassion and offer your love and support, not just to those close to you, but to the whole world.

8. Love needs nothing in return

If you think you have a right to receive just because you have given your love to others, that is a clear sign your love is flawed and imperfect. Because love is pure and unconditional. It offers itself to the whole world without wanting anything in return. And even though we were taught to believe that we should only offer our love only to those who offer their love to us, we should never forget that true love comes with no conditions.

9. The word Love has become empty of meaning, but love itself has never lost its power

We go around throwing “I love you’s” as if love was nothing. But love is not, nothing. Love is everything. Love is the Source of all things. Love is what we all need, what we all seek, and what we all need. And even though the word love has become empty of meaning through years and years of misuse, love itself has never lost its value and its power.

10. Love isn’t what we think it is

Love isn’t what we think it is. Love is what we feel. And since the majority of people have become disconnected from their own hearts and feelings, what we are getting is not love, but an idea of what love is supposed to be.

And these are 10 hard truths about love we should all know. What about you? What is one hard truth about love that you’ve learned and made your life better? You can share your comment in the comment section below.

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Your life Script

Posted May 25, 2017 By Mark

Who are you really? Some great thoughts by a thoughtful blogger… ( a bit long, but exactly right on…)

Our life script is so automatic, that to change, we need to stop and just be the audience. In our minds, we create our own narrative, which is to say, we create the stories that create our life. This may seem strange, but think about it a moment. Clinical Neurologist Oliver Sacks wrote that his patients were stuck in their own world – where the mind didn’t appear to be working the way most of our minds work, and he says each of creates a story of our life – a “narrative” of which becomes our identity. Another psychoanalyst, Thomas Szasz says, “the self is not something one finds; it is something one creates.” Louis Cozolino says in “The Neuroscience of Psychotherapy” that our nonconscious decision-making penetrates and shapes the construction of the self.

As we begin to learn about who we are, understanding our powerlessness and power all at once, we realize that what we’ve learned about “who we are” is really an exercise in thousands of experiences that occur around us which shape our mind into a story that we adopt as “ours.” The stories we hang on to about our lives, and about the world around us, is what helps us make sense of ourselves and other people. The stories help us attach meaning to our life, and the world around us, so we feel more grounded and in control. Dan Siegel says stories not only shape our sense of self, they shape our culture, and that we are “storytelling creatures.” Stories others tell help instill wisdom through the generations. They also build beliefs. The beliefs we take in from other’s stories can then become our own beliefs, and hence, part of our own narrative. Our self concept shapes and is shaped by the stories we tell ourselves.

Stories can be both conscious and unconscious. When someone tells me, “that’s just who I am” I know what they’re really saying is, “this is the story I’ve chosen to take on.”

We wear our stories like armour. They make up who we are, and by choice, we wear our stories like a cloak that gives us our self-identity and self-concept. We “are” because of who we choose to be, based on the stories we tell ourselves. Our stories are universal and span the entire lifespan. Stories play a major role in how we regulate how we feel as well as our memory processing. And finally, the stories we create are important to our everyday communication as well as our internal sense of self.

Sometimes our narrative or story is called our “internal working model.” That simply means it is the model or template which guides us through daily decision making. Our narrative becomes our belief structure.

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For anyone in love or looking for love, these 7 timeless pieces of advice are so important for a stable relationship.

  1. Wait for what you deserve.  Don’t settle just be patient.
  2. Choose a partner who is good for you, not who is simply good for your parents, image or bank balance!
  3. You might fight for someone, but never compete for them!
  4. Don’t hide your problems from your partner.  The more issues you solve together, the closer you are.
  5. Try not to care who was ‘before’ you, as long as there is no one else during ‘you’.
  6. Never lie to your partner even if the truth might hurt them…  Lying loses trust.
  7. Love isn’t always perfect, but it should be true.

The universe will always send SomeOne (The Right One) when you believe what you truly believe.  

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11 Signs You Might Be An Angel In Training

Posted February 3, 2017 By Mark
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Our lives on the Earth plane have been given as a sacred purpose, a true platform for evolution, and not a perpetual wheel of dissatisfaction and search for sensations. According to Kaya and Christiane, we can all “walk between both worlds” and become the highest forms of ourselves, an Angel in Training. As human beings, we are all, consciously or unconsciously, connected to the Angelic kingdom.

Each of us is an ANGEL in training, here to evolve and discover our true identity, which we really are, as well as the real reason why we are here on Earth. This is our spiritual goal, to discover and develop the divine powers we all have within.

Here are 11 clues that reveal you might be an Angel in Training and are on your way:

11 Signs You Might Be an Angels in Training

Angel in Training Sign 1 – You’re thirsty for new knowledge and you feel different from others.

Angel in Training Sign 2 – You are deeply convinced that Life has a more profound meaning than just living an ordinary life.

Angel in Training Sign 3 – One day, you feel good, you sense Life and Light… and the next, and you are sad and have no energy.

Angel in Training Sign 4 – While your friends live in matter without asking themselves any questions, you wonder, “Who is happier, them or me?”

Angel in Training Sign 5 – You want to be right and just, you are intense…sometimes too much, sometimes not enough.

Angel in Training Sign 6 – You feel discrepancies; you always think it is your fault, or the fault of others, and you don’t understand why you feel like this.

Angel in Training Sign 7 – You can foresee certain events before they happen.

Angel in Training Sign 8 – You can feel disillusioned by things that happened in the world or in your life, and nothing provides you a sense of fulfilment in your daily life.

Angel in Training Sign 9 – You are extremely sensitive; you start to see signs and gradually you start to feel people’s real intention or the message behind the words.

Angel in Training Sign 10 – You wake up in the middle of the night, or during the day, you always see the same numbers: 111, 333, 555, etc.

Angel in Training Sign 11 – You wish to transform yourself into a better person and to help others.

When you receive all these signs, it means that you are in initiation… that you are ready to receive knowledge… ready to meet God….

Adapted from The Book of Angels, The Hidden Secrets by Kaya and Christiane Muller

By Kaya & Christiane Muller; Guest Author; DreamcatcherReality.com

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The Most Powerful Law Of Attraction Mantra You Need To Know

There is not a person in the world who didn’t feel broken in a specific moment of his or her life. Yes, we all experience this feeling sometimes and we feel that something is wrong with our vibration. And we might even feel unworthy. What you should realize when this happens is that you are certainly not alone!

I want to share with you a powerful mantra that will unlock that rotten feeling of resistance! This “mantra” is something that I see gets forgotten so frequently with Law of Attraction students and yet it’s the most important thing in the creation process of manifesting our desires. I recommend you to repeat it again and again until it sinks into your heart and imprints your subconscious mind, paving a new and fierce path of newfound understanding.

Are you ready for it? So, say it out aloud:

The FEELING of my desires MUST PRECEDE its manifestation.

  • You have to feel as though you have already manifested your goodies in order to align with them energetically before they can roll into your reality.
  • This is the true secret to working with the Law of Attraction. ACT AS IF you have already manifested what you want. It might feel awkward or uncomfortable at first, but it’s something that is a natural force in life.

For instance, if you set the intention to manifest your soul mate and then you feel frustrated because it hasn’t happened in the time that you wanted it to, then you BLOCK the vibrational flow of that reality showing up for you. You’re tying the tubes of infinite possibilities. However, if you remember that everything happens in Divine timing and you make space in your life to be open to welcoming in your soul mate, then you will manifest him/her a lot faster!

  • You should be gentle and feel inspired. So say it again…

The FEELING of my desires MUST PRECEDE its manifestation.

  • Allow your soul to get carried away with the beauty of your intuitive imagination.
  • Think and feel good about the future. All good things are headed your way!

Source: http://www.abundancepedia.com/articles/the-most-powerful-law-of-attraction-mantra-you-need-to-know/?hvid=6nu1w5

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What do I want for Christmas?

Posted December 16, 2016 By Mark

 

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‘If Life Is A Game, These Are The Rules’

Posted December 11, 2016 By Mark
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Rule One – You will receive a body. Whether you love it or hate it, it’s yours for life, so accept it. What counts is what’s inside.

Rule Two – You will be presented with lessons. Life is a constant learning experience, which every day provides opportunities for you to learn more. These lessons specific to you, and learning them ‘is the key to discovering and fulfilling the meaning and relevance of your own life’.

Rule Three – There are no mistakes, only lessons. Your development towards wisdom is a process of experimentation, trial and error, so it’s inevitable things will not always go to plan or turn out how you’d want. Compassion is the remedy for harsh judgement – of ourselves and others. Forgiveness is not only divine – it’s also ‘the act of erasing an emotional debt’. Behaving ethically, with integrity, and with humour – especially the ability to laugh at yourself and your own mishaps – are central to the perspective that ‘mistakes’ are simply lessons we must learn.

Rule Four – The lesson is repeated until learned. Lessons repeat until learned. What manifest as problems and challenges, irritations and frustrations are more lessons – they will repeat until you see them as such and learn from them. Your own awareness and your ability to change are requisites of executing this rule. Also fundamental is the acceptance that you are not a victim of fate or circumstance – ‘causality’ must be acknowledged; that is to say: things happen to you because of how you are and what you do. To blame anyone or anything else for your misfortunes is an escape and a denial; you yourself are responsible for you, and what happens to you. Patience is required – change doesn’t happen overnight, so give change time to happen.

Rule Five – Learning does not end. While you are alive there are always lessons to be learned. Surrender to the ‘rhythm of life’, don’t struggle against it. Commit to the process of constant learning and change – be humble enough to always acknowledge your own weaknesses, and be flexible enough to adapt from what you may be accustomed to, because rigidity will deny you the freedom of new possibilities.

Rule Six – “There” is no better than “here”. The other side of the hill may be greener than your own, but being there is not the key to endless happiness. Be grateful for and enjoy what you have, and where you are on your journey. Appreciate the abundance of what’s good in your life, rather than measure and amass things that do not actually lead to happiness. Living in the present helps you attain peace.

Rule Seven – Others are only mirrors of you. You love or hate something about another person according to what love or hate about yourself. Be tolerant; accept others as they are, and strive for clarity of self-awareness; strive to truly understand and have an objective perception of your own self, your thoughts and feelings. Negative experiences are opportunities to heal the wounds that you carry. Support others, and by doing so you support yourself. Where you are unable to support others it is a sign that you are not adequately attending to your own needs.

Rule Eight – What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. Take responsibility for yourself. Learn to let go when you cannot change things. Don’t get angry about things – bitter memories clutter your mind. Courage resides in all of us – use it when you need to do what’s right for you. We all possess a strong natural power and adventurous spirit, which you should draw on to embrace what lies ahead.

Rule Nine –Your answers lie inside of you. Trust your instincts and your innermost feelings, whether you hear them as a little voice or a flash of inspiration. Listen to feelings as well as sounds. Look, listen, and trust. Draw on your natural inspiration.

Rule Ten –You will forget all this at birth. We are all born with all of these capabilities – our early experiences lead us into a physical world, away from our spiritual selves, so that we become doubtful, cynical and lacking belief and confidence. The ten Rules are not commandments, they are universal truths that apply to us all. When you lose your way, call upon them. Have faith in the strength of your spirit. Aspire to be wise – wisdom the ultimate path of your life, and it knows no limits other than those you impose on yourself.

 

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This summary is merely a brief outline and simply does not do the book justice, nor the wisdom within it. If you are interested in making the most of your life, and helping others do the same, buy Cherie Carter-Scott’s book ‘If Life Is A Game, These Are The Rules’.

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