Relationships Archive

The Top 20 Traits Women Want in a Man

Posted April 12, 2018 By Mark

This is written for the man

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The question of what women want is the subject of countless poems, essays, and terrible romantic comedies. But ultimately, the answer is simple: it depends on the woman. Every woman has different tastes and preferences, and that’s especially true when it comes to sex: one lady’s “oh, yeah!is another woman’s “oh…yeah?”

That said, when you actually get a bunch of women in the same room and ask them what they’re really looking for in a man, there are a few recurring themes. At the end of the day, most women want a guy who’s kind, loyal, and has a good sense of humor. (Being extra attentive in bed doesn’t hurt.)

To identify, quantify, and rank the traits that make a man “hot” to women, we surveyed more than 1,000 American women ages 21 to 54 in two online polls. One was conducted by Opinion Research Corporation, based in Princeton, New Jersey, and the other was done on BestLifeOnline.com. Then we organized traits and characteristics according to the percentage of women who ranked them within the top 10 attributes.

Perhaps surprisingly, women rated traits relating to character and personality much higher than they scored those reflecting physical attractiveness. (That’s right, guys — when she says she doesn’t really care about looks, she means it. Who’d have thunk?). For example, only 13 percent of women included muscular build as a requisite for hotness, while 66 percent placed moral integrity as a “make me quiver” characteristic.

These are the top 20 traits women are looking for in a guy. We can almost guarantee that you have at least a few of them, you stud, you.

THE TOP 5 CHARACTER TRAITS

1) Faithfulness
More than 8 out of 10 women (or 84 percent of women) rated “faithful to me” in the top 10 attributes they find sexy in a man. She wants to be reassured that you think she’s the sexiest woman on earth (and luckily, you already do!), so remind her of that fact whenever and however you can.

2) Dependability
It’s sort of a cliché at this point, but women are looking for a guy who’s not afraid of commitment. Three out of four women (75 percent) say they look for a man who’s good at follow-through. Being responsible — even if it’s just remembering to pick up salad dressing on your way over to her place — sends a positive signal that you’re ready for commitment.

3) Kindness
Young women may still fall for the bad-boy type, but 67 percent of women said they were turned on by kindness, because kindness inspires confidence. In other words, if you treat the waitress well, your date figures you’ll treat her well, too. So be nice.

4) Moral Integrity
Sixty-six percent of women believe that if you have the guts to tell the truth, you’ll have the guts to be a good, caring partner over the long haul. Just try not to tell her what you really think of her best friend from college and you’re good.

5) Fatherliness
Being a good dad (or having the potential to become one) is about being a good role model and being patient and caring, qualities 51 percent of women want in a partner. Not a dad? Tell her about your favorite niece or nephew, or the employee you’re mentoring at work.

TOP 5 PERSONALITY TRAITS

1) Sense of Humor
Being able to laugh at the stresses of this world is a must, according to 77 percent of the women on our panel. You get bonus points if you can make them laugh. Humor tells a woman that you can laugh at the many difficulties that life throws at you.

2) Intelligence
A worldly, interesting man is a man 55 percent of women like to show off. Men who are problem solvers make women feel secure, and men who are always improving are never boring.

3) Passion
Forty-six percent of women like displays of passion because they’re not accustomed to seeing them from men. Get passionate about something: kayaking, impressionistic art, barbecuing, or Habitat for Humanity. It’s proof that you care for and about something beyond yourself.

4) Confidence
A man who feels secure in his own skin makes the woman he’s with feel secure, according to 41 percent of women. By showing you can handle unfamiliar people or situations, you tell the woman in your life that she need not fear, either.

5) Generosity
This is important to 38 percent of women. Generosity doesn’t just mean springing for dinner at a four-star. It also means you’re willing to give your time and lend an ear.

TOP 5 PRACTICAL SKILLS

1) Listening
Pay attention. 53 percent of women said they feel safe and secure when they know their man will put down his phone and listen. Magic words: “I’m here. Tell me everything.”

2) Romancing
Romance appeals to a woman’s right-brained, less-logical side. 45 percent of women said they fantasize about being swept off their feet. Romance is bold because you’re displaying your desire for a woman and revealing a softer, more vulnerable side.

3) Being Good in Bed
OK, this might seem obvious, but take it from us — it’s not just about the orgasms. A woman knows that a man who takes care of her in bed will take care of her out of bed. (Of course, the orgasms don’t hurt.)

4) Cooking, Cleaning, etc.
Twenty-three percent of women said that if you learn how to make one or two killer breakfasts or dinners, you’ll win hearts.

5) Earning Potential
One in five women surveyed said a man’s success in his career contributes to his sexiness. If you’ve demonstrated talent, goal achievement, and follow-through, you give women confidence that you will be a good provider.

TOP 5 PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES

1) Sense of Style
The way you dress reflects on the woman you’re with, and she knows it. The man who knows how to match a patterned shirt and tie will notice when she’s dressed well, too. Keep your tailor and your dry cleaner busy, and spring for posh, touchable fabrics like cashmere, suede, pima cotton, and brushed corduroy.

2) Handsome Face
The science of attraction, which has been studied ad infinitum, says it’s all about symmetry, and women in cross-cultural studies have also ranked men with broad chins, high cheekbones, and large eyes as the most attractive. Best way to improve your looks: Smile more, and make certain your sideburns are even.

3) Height
Tall, dark, and handsome isn’t the be-all and end-all. 15 percent of women said they like feeling smaller than their men, but height doesn’t necessarily mean might. They will feel comfortable as long as they aren’t towering over you.

4) Muscular Build
Only 13 percent of women said they viewed a muscular build as a priority. Muscles help ward off rivals and assure a woman that you won’t drop her during a dip, but your overall appearance is more important than the size of your biceps.

5) Fitness
That said, 12 percent of women recognize a good body as indicative of a man of discipline and self-control. It tells a woman you can keep up with her, in bed and out.

 

credit to https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a19535604/top-20-traits-she-wants/

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Walk in the Woods – A Personality Test

Posted March 29, 2018 By Mark

Have a pen and paper handy before you read any further. As soon as you read a question, write the answer right away. Read the following questions, imagining the scenes in your mind, and write down the FIRST thing that you visualize. Do NOT think about the questions excessively.

 


Ready?

1. You are walking in the woods. Who are you walking with?


2. You are walking in the woods. You see an animal. What kind of animal is it?


3. What interaction takes place between you and the animal?


4. You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing and before you is your Dream House. Describe its size.


5. Is your dream house surrounded by a fence?


6. You enter the house. You walk to the dining area and see the dining table. Describe what you see on AND around the table.


7. You exit the house through the back door. Lying in the grass is a cup. What material is the cup made of?


8. What do you do with the cup?


9. You walk to the edge of the property, where you find yourself standing at the edge of a body of water. What type of body of water is is it?


10. How will you cross the water?


Find the results below…

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Results:
This has been a relational psychology test. The answers given to the questions have been shown to have a relevance to values and ideals that we hold in our personal lives. The analysis follows:

1. The person who you are walking with is the most important person in your life.

2. The size of the animal is representative of your perception of the size of your problems.

3. The severity of the interaction you have with the animal is representative of how you deal with your problems. (passive/aggressive)

4. The size of your dream house is representative of the size of your ambition to resolve your problems.

5. No fence is indicative of an open personality. People are welcome at all times. The presence of a fence indicates a closed personality. You’d prefer people not to drop by unannounced.

6. If your answer did not include food, people, or flowers, then you are generally unhappy.

7. The durability of the material with which the cup is made of is representative of the perceived durability of your relationship with the person named in number 1. For example, styrafoam, plastic, and paper are all disposable, styrofoam, paper and glass are not durable, and metal and plastic are durable.

8. Your disposition of the cup is representative of your attitude towards the person in number 1.

9. The size of the body of water is representative of the size of your desire for love.

10. How wet you get in crossing the water is indicative of the relative importance of your love life.

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Preparation to cast out the Adversary

Posted March 24, 2018 By Mark

Part of being Prepared is to understand the Adversary and how to Properly Cast Out!

Casting out Evil Spirits…

Any Priesthood holder can effectively remove them with the proper verbiage…which is never discussed. It’s not in Priesthood manuals or ever taught in meetings.

I write this now because there is a rise in Evil and the Need is great to understand how to combat the forces that rise against us.

I do this of my own free will and will make no excuse or apology for doing so.

May we all stand firm against the presence of Evil and Never Shirk in our Duty and Obligations to Fight Evil wherever it resides.

Caution!
A Devil, even an Arch Devil has tremendous power and it may take several attempts to cast/exorcise them out. An Arch Devil is very powerful and will not depart easily. A full possession is indicated when there is no white in the eyes…they are Purple!
It will take courage and determination to pick yourself up after being attacked by it and place your hands once again upon the afflicted person and start over…remember to hold firm in your faith and Know that You can do this!

Below is the verbiage that was given to me by a Seventy who used to write talks for the Brethren…and has since passed away. I feel strongly that this information is desperately needed to be shared. Therefore I shall, and make no excuse.

Anoint first and Seal the Anointing.
Ensure you say “by the Authority (not the Power) of the Melchizedek Priesthood!

Second place hands upon the crown of the head and state…

“By the Authority…”(Not the Power) of the Melchizedek Priesthood, “I cast out Any Devils, Demons, Evil or Unclean Spirits, or Negative Energy in this very instance and command that you never return!”

Third follow up immediately with…

“I Bless you with the Spirit of the Holy Ghost to fill you from the Crown of your Head to the Souls of your feet!”

Then proceed with Any additional words for the individual as you are prompted by the spirit.

Omission of any of the specific words or different use of vernacular will not give you the response of the evil spirits departure.

Satan and His followers are very cunning and Words Have Power!

1. A Priesthood holder has the Authority to act…Not the Power to act.

2. Naming the Entity is crucial to ensure it leaves…you can dismiss one, and leave the others because you failed to name them!

3. Demand departure immediately! If you fail to specify…they will leave, but only when they are ready. They may delay and linger for years, because Time and Space does Not exist in the Eternities!

4. Fill the Individual with the Holy Ghost, from the Crown of the Head to the Soles of the Feet…its Light will fill all the voids within and leave No darkened place for any Evil to hide.

5. Proceed to Bless the Individual as the Holy Spirit Prompts.

6. Complete the Blessing in the name of Our Savior Jesus Christ!

Amen

Copy and save this so you will always have it, you may wish to put a copy within your scriptures. Share with others when prompted as well.

May we All endure well and our good deeds outweigh the bad when we are judged.

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HOW DO YOU KNOW IF HE REALLY IS THAT INTO YOU~

Posted February 5, 2018 By Mark

Sacred Dreams

If a man is truly into you you’ll never doubt that you’re his priority. Work, texting, friends, (his ex) – none of these things will make you feel like you’re second place. Women should trust their intuition on this.

There’s no such thing as ‘kind of into you’. A man connected to his purpose chooses a woman that creates support and synergy for what he’s doing with his life so that neither take a back seat to the other.

Dating is your opportunity to see what kind of confidence, leadership, focus and planning skills he’ll be bringing to the relationship. If he doesn’t know how to make you feel like the center of his world while you’re dating, he’ll do even less in a relationship.

Avoid the men who are looking for a woman who can soothe them. Leadership in a relationship means a man contacts you, plans the date, chooses a restaurant and takes care of the details. This is your litmus test, the one that tells you how much you’re going to be expected to handle for him if there’s a love connection.

If you don’t feel like the priority it means you’re not. Few men will tell you they’re not 100% into you and some will flat out lie in order to keep you around simply because they don’t want to be alone.

How do you know if he’s really serious or just a player with great game? His attention and affection doesn’t fade over time and it’s not contingent on him getting laid. Does he reach out and touch you unconsciously? Is he romantic and attentive without really thinking about it?

If you settle for a guy who settled for you until what he’s really looking for comes along you’re going to feel that every day you’re together and be listening to his excuses forever.

Men don’t need more rope, more chances or more understanding. If he’s into you, you won’t hear excuses because you’ll be swept off your feet every single day because nothing makes the man who loves you happier than seeing a smile on your face.

It’s easy to see the difference between the women in a relationship with a man who makes her his priority and those who aren’t. It’s not a fairy tale, it’s the possibility for every woman who waits for a man who doesn’t just say, “I love you” he shows it in everything he does.

If you’re with this kind of man, please comment and inspire those who are still looking not to settle.~

~Graham R White

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I was never one to completely rely on Astrology to explain why x,y, and z had happened to me or my friends. I thought reading our horoscopes whenever we felt lost without direction was a fun way to place the blame or gain insight on things we didn’t quite understand at the time. It was never a consistent thing.

But, each and every time I had downloaded one of those free Apps to ultimately determine my fate for the next 30 days, I started to notice a pattern. The traits of the signs of my friends and I weren’t so far off the mark– could this actually have some truth behind it? It was a pleasant surprise how much our signs truly resonated with each of us.

 Personally being a Sagittarius myself, I did a little more research and found these 21 things to be pretty spot on when it comes to the world of romance:

1. We are extremely independent and don’t need people to bring us down.

2. We don’t like to settle for less. Commitment is not the issue, we just want someone who is perfect for us.

3. If you break our trust, you probably won’t ever get it back.

4. Caring too much is one thing we battle with all the time.

5. We are forever thinking about and planning our future.

6. Don’t bother arguing with us– you’ll lose.

7. We enjoy our alone time. We can’t be with anyone who is too protective, nosy, or controlling.

8. Sometimes we don’t connect emotionally enough with people and then they assume we don’t care– but we do.

9. Although we have a lively personality, we are not an open book. We are private people.

10.  We are the soldiers of the zodiac and absolutely hate appearing weak.

11.  We can tolerate a lot but we will not tolerate cheaters!

12.  We feel so much and don’t say anything — but inside we are screaming.

13.  We are in tune with a person’s body language and their tone of voice.  This tells us everything we need to know when dealing with conflicts with you.

14.  We will always have a mask on covering our true emotions — you won’t know them unless we tell you.

15.  It takes a lot for us to truly fall in love.

16.  We usually give awesome advice, but rarely follow it ourselves.

17.  We are really observant.  

18.  We never sweat the small stuff and always try to remain positive — even in bad situations.

19.  We tend to let things fall in place, believing that whatever is meant to be will be.

20.  Once we have feeling for someone, those feeling will always be there.  Even if we may not feel the same way as we previously did — we will never stop caring about you.

21.  We will love you unconditionally — just don’t abuse that love.

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When a human being cheats on their partner, they are always aware of the fact that they are betraying them. Regardless of what claims a cheater makes, they were aware of what they were really doing before, during, and after the betrayal (or betrayals). What’s more, cheaters also enjoy the power they gain by cheating—again, regardless of what excuses or implausible rationalizations they make. Always remember that a cheater made several conscious decisions that resulted in their cheating; there is no such thing as “It just happened!”, “I couldn’t stop it! “We were separated (still married)”  Countless couples manage to enjoy and maintain happy, healthy, loyal relationships for lifetimes—it’s not even close to something that is impossible to do or live up to.

Moreover, if a human being genuinely loves their partner, they will not run away from the relationship or jeopardize the relationship for mere lust or release. A person who loves their partner goes to their partner to resolve issues or insecurities; they don’t turn to cheating for therapy.  Quite simply, true love cannot involve cheating. Honesty, respect, and faithfulness are essential to virtually all loving relationships, and cheating violates all of these mandatory characteristics. Oftentimes it isn’t easy to acknowledge or accept, but a person who cheats on you does not love you, and it’s quite possible that they never did.  However, it’s also important to remember that victims are not to blame for being cheated on.  Again, cheaters do not respect their partners in even the most basic of senses; cheaters own their cheating, which means they are fully responsible for its cause, its occurrence, and its effects.

According to former cheater Gigi Engle and EliteDaily, Engle has “cared for the men [she has] cheated on. [She has] loved each and every one of them in [her] own way. But [she] didn’t love them enough to be faithful. If you cannot sacrifice the touch of another person — if you cannot resist the physical urge to screw someone else in favor of honoring your relationship — you do not value that relationship enough. For the first time in [her] crazy, messed-up love life, [she believes] that [she is] truly in love — madly, head-over-heels kind of love. The difference with this relationship is that [she has] a deep and profound respect for [her] boyfriend. [She’s] repulsed by the thought of letting another guy touch [her]. It makes [her] skin crawl. The idea of hurting someone [she respects] so much breaks [her] heart.”

Engle’s past misdeeds should not and cannot be excused, but her remorse seems genuine; as long as she continues to be honest with herself and her partner(s), then it will be possible for her to stay on a loving path. However, keep in mind that Engle is an exception to the rule. There are countless insecure jerks in the world, and most cheaters end up being repeat offenders in the long run.

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Divorce is so common nowadays, and it hurts to look at the statistics. Yet everyone wants to have a happy marriage for years to come. We put together a list of advice from psychologists and people’s personal experiences on how to avoid mistakes and save your marriage.

10. Respect each other.

Mutual respect is a pillar of a happy marriage. Even when you’re angry, express yourself through the prism of respect. Respect allows you to avoid situations where one of the partners feels that the other half is manipulating and putting pressure on them.

9. Do not compare your partner to others.

Don’t compare your partner with other people’s husbands and wives, especially someone on social network sites like Instagram or Facebook. This goes for in your thoughts and out loud.

Remember that people often choose to show not their reality but their desired picture of life and relationships. So when other husbands shower their ladies with bouquets, take them to expensive restaurants, or buy them gifts, it’s most likely false. Even if they do, it does not necessarily mean that those couples are happy.

8. Keep fit, and take care of yourself.

Always take care of yourself. A happy marriage is all about good sex. People love to see what is attractive. Stay fit and healthy. Think about the way you look when you’re in front of your partner, even at home. Old jogging pants and over sized T-shirts are a no-no. A well-built body and comfy yet sexy lounge wear? That’s a big yes. This rule applies to both men and women.

7. Husband / Wife is priority number one, then kids.

Parenthood is all about being selflessly there for your children, but it will be a mistake if you sacrifice your marriage for it. First, if children are all you need in the world, that is bad, especially for your child. Second, a married couple is the center of the family. And third, one day the children will grow up and leave your house. That is when you 2 will be left on your own and find yourself with a common ground and history. Or maybe you will see that nothing is left of your marriage, just a person you’re not that fond of anymore. Ask yourself if you really want this to happen.

6. Forgive each other.

No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. Any relationship brings misunderstandings and hurt between partners. If a couple cannot forgive one another, then over time, the relationship will collapse under the burden of accumulated grievances.

5. Do not try to change your partner.

People are mistaken to think that one can change her or his spouse. Everyone has their drawbacks, and it’s almost impossible to make them into the person you want them to be. Things you should never ever try to change are bad habits, religious views, relationships with parents, hobbies, the way they see this world, and what they make their priorities. But a good thing to do is create mutual family habits and traditions that everyone will find pleasing.

4. Avoid big words, especially “divorce.”

Try to avoid phrases like “If this continues, I will leave you.“ And never say the word ”divorce.“ If you are going to say it, then be ready to go and see a lawyer. Don’t crawl back on your knees later with the words, “I did not mean it.” Your partner might suddenly say, ”Fine. Leave.”

Such phrases, often said in anger, are not forgotten. Even after you make up, it will only increase the chances of an actual divorce.

3. Control your emotions.

Try to tell yourself “Stop!” whenever you want to insult your loved one. If you feel that you can’t control yourself, take a break, take a deep breath, and go for a walk. Just do not use it to punish your partner with isolation. Tell them that you will return to the conversation when you have calmed down. And by all means, keep your word.

2. Never talk badly about your partner.

Never say bad things about your partner to others. Not to your mother. Not even to your friends. After your quarrel, you will forget everything and forgive each other, but your mother and girlfriends will not. That is when your partner will remain in a negative light for them, and they will treat him or her badly.

When things are really difficult, first have a heart-to-heart talk with your spouse. If you really must share with someone else, contact a family psychologist

1. Learn your partner’s love language.

Everyone speaks their own language of love. Yours may differ from the love language of your partner. To speak love, he may manifest it with words of support and praise, perhaps with touch and care, or even with material things like gifts.

Each of us has a language of love. Whatever your partner’s love language is, learn it and use it.

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It can be more than a little scary to envision yourself being single for an extended period of time, but in reality, there is no reason you need to feel alone just because you aren’t involved in a romantic relationship. What’s more, there’s definitely no reason you should feel the need to fill periods of times like these with flings, either in order to feel normal or to live up to some silly stereotypical societal expectation. Instead, simply enjoy the time you have to yourself—if you let yourself, it’s almost impossible not to be both successful and happy.

It’s worth staying single until you’ve found someone who always does and says what they say they will, or what they promise to. Stay single until you find a partner who doesn’t just call, text, or spend time with you because it’s their duty or because they think you want them to do those things—find someone who genuinely wants to do those things for little to nothing in return. Moreover, wait for someone who not only enjoys and looks forward to spending time with you and your friends, family members, or other loved ones, but wait for someone who also looks forward to spending time with their own friends, family members, and other loves ones—with you by their side, and within their conversations.

You’re better off remaining single until you meet someone who isn’t pushy or obsessive but who still openly and honestly shows how much they desire to spend time with you and learn more and more about you. And, of course, try to find someone who you feel as though you should act in this way toward as well. A prospective partner shouldn’t have to try to convince you to give them “a chance,” and you definitely shouldn’t ever have to go out of your way to prove yourself worthy of intimate attention. If you both don’t miss each other when you’re separated for extended periods of time, and if you both don’t think about how the other person is feeling while you’re separated, then you’re probably better off remaining or becoming single to keep an option open for something more satisfying and long-term.

A worthy partner should be able to ease both your self-doubt and your pain—even at the expense of some of their own positive energy and emotion. And, again, there is no reason for you to remain with a partner who isn’t likely to make and keep you happy and successful in both the present and in the future. Whenever you’re alone, take some time to really think about yourself—who you are, and who you want to become. It won’t be hard to envision an extremely long list of things you need to start and keep working on in order to realize your aspirations, so there really is no need to add a romantic partner into the mix if they’ll be hindering your progress as opposed to advancing it.

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Once upon a time, long before you were born, you chose him.

You chose the one who makes the nights too short to say everything you want to say to each other…

The one whose soul caresses you without laying a finger on your skin, the one that believes in you and makes you believe in yourself, even at times when you don’t. The one who tells you how important you are to him and to the world as well.

You’ll recognize him by the shimmer of his soul and the sparkle that lights up in his eyes every time he sees you; by his strong embrace that holds you tight as if you are going to slip through his fingers.

And after your first encounter in this world nothing will ever be black or white! On the contrary, a completely new specter of shades, colors, sounds and words will appear.

You will need this person as you need the air you breathe. His absence will cause you pain and you will never get used to it.

That’s why it’s pointless to build your life without the one you chose long before you were born. Without him life will be just a house of cards, always under threat, even by the lightest wind.

Can you imagine your journey without his hugs or his smile brighter than the dawn? Being with him is enough. You don’t have to do anything. You’ve been destined to eternity and the love you feel is so strong that it clouds your mind. Nothing makes sense anymore, but in the same time, you can’t find bigger sense in anything but your love.

Because of him your mind turns into your biggest torturer, while your heart composes the most beautiful of notes. And it grows out of proportion. Your soul is trembling like it did the first time when the two of you met and touched…and what is more, every time will be the same, even after 20 or 30 years have passed.

You will recognize him by his love, because you bloom in his presence. He makes you feel loved, even when he is not showing it… even when he is not aware of it.

Everything you need to do is to remember that you deserve love. The kind of love that builds fortresses…cities; that flies over mountains. The kind of love that knows no limits or boundaries and makes this planet a perfect place for two souls to come together and carry on with their life as one.

Don’t settle for anything less. Don’t pay attention to time or the people who tell you that you are running out of it. Ignore the envious looks and gossips. Let go of the feeling that you are not good enough for him. As a matter of fact, let go of everything.

Just remember you made the deal long time ago… You agreed to it before both of you came to Earth…you’ll go through life side by side and you’ll follow the light as single being.

This kind of love is worth breathing and living for.

Never give up on him…keep searching, he is there, he exists!

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10 Hard Truths About Love You Should Know

Posted August 10, 2017 By Mark

Perfect love casts out fear. If fear exists, then there is not perfect love. ~ A Course in Miracles

Hard Truths About Love

People go around throwing I love you’s as if these words are nothing. And when it comes to honoring their words with actions, a lot of them have absolutely nothing to show for… And 

Today I will share with you 10 hard truths about love that can improve not just our relationships, but also our lives, and the whole world.

1. There is no love without self-love

Pay close attention to those people who tell you how much they love you, but who treat themselves as if there is nothing worthy about them. If a person has no love for themselves, they will have no love to offer to those around. How can anyone offer you something they themselves don’t have? It’s just not possible.

“I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves and tell me, ‘I love you.’ … There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.” ~Maya Angelou

2. Love is not selective

I used to be so proud of the fact that I had love only for a selective few. And in my ignorance, I failed to realize that my love was flawed and imperfect. Because just as the Eckhart Tolle so beautifully said it,

“Love is not selective, just as the light of the sun is not selective. It does not make one person special. It is not exclusive. Exclusivity is not the love of God but the “love” of ego. However, the intensity with which true love is felt can vary.”

3. Codependency is not love

So many people confuse co-dependency with love when in fact these two have nothing to do with one another. Love is pure, perfect, and honest. While co-dependency is nothing but fear masked as love trying to cling onto other people by sucking the life out of them and by making them feel responsible for our own happiness, fulfillment, and well-being.

4. Love is not blind infatuation

You often hear people say things like: Oh my God, I fell in love! I’m so happy. And then after a little while, the same people will affirm: Oh, I’m so unhappy. I no longer love them. I fell out of love… But the truth of the matter is that what these people felt wasn’t love, but rather a blind infatuation that lasted for a little while and then it disappeared. Because that’s what infatuation does – it comes and goes.

5. Love is eternal

Love isn’t something you fall in, and out of. Love just is. Love is eternal and always present. And If there’s true and honest love in your heart for someone, this love will remain with you for as long as you live. And whether you allow this love to be felt or not, that is your choice.

6. Love is not blind, or foolish

Love is not foolish, and love is not blind. Love will not permit us to be walked all over by those we love.

If somebody you love treats you in toxic and unkind ways, out of love for them and yourself, you will be guided intuitively to do what’s right – by either removing yourself from the toxic relationship or by asking them to change and correct their ways – but under no circumstances will love ask you to stay in a relationship where you will be abused, manipulated, and mistreated. So keep that in mind.

7. Love is to be offered to all

You might think that the only people worthy of your love are your family, your partner, your friends and a selective few. But the truth of the matter is that the whole world is worthy and deserving of your love and affection. And since we are all ONE – connected with each other in a profound and meaningful way – it is your responsibility to expand your circle of compassion and offer your love and support, not just to those close to you, but to the whole world.

8. Love needs nothing in return

If you think you have a right to receive just because you have given your love to others, that is a clear sign your love is flawed and imperfect. Because love is pure and unconditional. It offers itself to the whole world without wanting anything in return. And even though we were taught to believe that we should only offer our love only to those who offer their love to us, we should never forget that true love comes with no conditions.

9. The word Love has become empty of meaning, but love itself has never lost its power

We go around throwing “I love you’s” as if love was nothing. But love is not, nothing. Love is everything. Love is the Source of all things. Love is what we all need, what we all seek, and what we all need. And even though the word love has become empty of meaning through years and years of misuse, love itself has never lost its value and its power.

10. Love isn’t what we think it is

Love isn’t what we think it is. Love is what we feel. And since the majority of people have become disconnected from their own hearts and feelings, what we are getting is not love, but an idea of what love is supposed to be.

And these are 10 hard truths about love we should all know. What about you? What is one hard truth about love that you’ve learned and made your life better? You can share your comment in the comment section below.

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